Episode 28: Work get-togethers: connection, not conformity
Published on 15 April 2025 • Hosted by Dr Lisa Colledge
Most workplaces want their team get-togethers strengthen relationships, generate ideas, and boost morale. But what if they’re only doing that for the minority—while others are quietly surviving them and taking several days to recover afterwards?
Think about the last work social event you attended.
Was it a high-energy, chatty, unstructured gathering?
Did it involve drinks, a physical activity, or lots of spontaneous mingling?
Did it assume that social bonding should happen in a way that’s fun—for extroverts?
Almost certainly. Most team socials are shaped by those who enjoy them most—and because those people are the ones who are also the most vocal about them, it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy:
The people who love these events plan them → they enjoy them and advocate vocally for more → those who struggle with them stay quiet and go along with it → the cycle repeats, unchanged.
In reality, 59% of the general population is introvert, 30% is neurodivergent, 53% GenZ idenaify as neurodivergent—and many are new, shy or dealing with personal challenges that make social events difficult.
“Just opt out” is a cowards’ solution
One common “fix” is to simply make team socials optional. But this isn’t a real solution:
Team socials aren’t just “extra.”
They are labelled fun, but they are between work colleagues and inevitably work is done.
They shape team culture, influence networks, and impact career growth.
Opting out means missing key conversations and opportunities.
It shifts the problem onto individuals.
Instead of making the event more inclusive, “just opt out” shifts the burden on to a person who already feels left out, and who may be vulnerable through having experienced similar exclusions for their whole life.
It forces someone to choose between discomfort and exclusion.
How to design get-togethers that work for everyone
Instead of assuming that what’s fun for some is fun for all, let’s rethink how we structure team get-togethers.
Key principles:
✅ Rotate event types: some active, some reflective, some structured, some open-ended.
✅ Remove the unknown: provide as much information up front as you can - agenda, location, expectations.
✅ Offer multiple ways to connect: engagement shouldn’t be measured only by extraversion. One metric is never a good idea.
✅ Provide decompression areas and times for everyone: wuiet zones, scheduled breaks, and the expectation of working remotely the next day.
✅ Create social cues: color-coded badges, bracelets or lanyards to signal interaction preferences.
The goal of social events shouldn’t be conformity—it’s connection.
All of these principles are drawn from neurodivergence-inclusion best practises.
Neuroinclusion isn’t just about supporting neurodivergent employees—it’s the foundation of universally inclusive workplaces.
By intentionally designing social interactions to be cognitively inclusive, we don’t just remove barriers for autistic or ADHD team members. We create better experiences for introverts, new employees, highly sensitive individuals, gifted people, and those navigating personal challenges—even extroverts who may prefer structured engagement.
This approach moves beyond individual accommodations and into proactive inclusion, ensuring that everyone can engage in ways that align with their strengths, rather than forcing themselves into a mentally damaging mold that doesn’t fit. It builds psychological safety, improves engagement, and strengthens team cohesion—all while creating a workplace culture that is future-proof.
Let’s not assume that everyone agrees with the vocal majority and start asking how can we do better.
Here are the links to the information I referred to during this episode:
Episode 20 - Quiet strengths: engaging introvert talent – a discussion with Richard Etienne.
You can read more about my signature program, Neuro-Inspired: 12 Steps to a Future-Proof Workplace Culture, here.
And you can listen to me introducing this program here: Episode 18 – 12 steps to build resillient teams: engagement, talent, and innovation redefined.
I'm Lisa, and I take inspiration from neurodivergence-inclusion to help leaders create cognitively inclusive cultures that connect people with different cognitive styles, empowering everyone to contribute their best.
If you'd like to learn more about how prioritizing this single program would help you to boost not only engagement and wellbeing, but also innovation and resilience, please take a look at my free signature program: Neuro-Inspired: 12 Steps to a Future-Proof Workplace Culture.
